Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Is this it??
Is this what I have to look forward to now? Days filled with wishing I was anywhere else but home. I don't fit in here. I went to the mall yesterday and as I was walking around I felt so alone in a crowded place. For the past 10 months I have been surrounded by people who knew exactly what I was going through because they were going through it right along with me. Now, I'm thrust back into a world that could care less. Their biggest worry is cutting you off to get to the red sweater across the aisle before you do. I don't think we could have come back from deployment at a worse time of year.....Christmas. A time filled with joy and peace. HA! That's a joke! There is nothing joyous or peaceful about returning right now. This is what I had wanted for so long..to get out of Balad and back home, but now I just want to go back to my friends. Even my boyfriend who lives in one of the biggest cities says things just don't feel right anymore. My mom doesn't understand and I don't expect her to. She just lays on the guilt trip if I take off to go stay with my friend who I just spent the past 8 months living with. I guess I'm supposed to be the good daughter and spend every waking minute with my mom because she hasn't seen me for the past 10 months. But, I don't even feel like talking to her most of the time and I have to force myself to for a good show. Is this it?? Is this what my life is going to be like now??????
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I felt the same way when I came back. The apathy, the bullshit, and the mindlessness of society. I hope the resentment subsides for you, but it took awhile to subside for me...Welcome back!
The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 12/17/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.
=] hello. I just ran across your blog, and I really have enjoyed reading your posts. It helps to get better understanding of what some of the navy may be like. You seem really real in the things you say. I am super new to this blog site, just added it so I've yet to edit my profile or anything at all. I am a senior in high school, and I plan to join the NAVY.
Im currently in the DEP. I've picked my job & everything, shipdate, etc. Maybe you can answer a few of my questions.
I havn't even left yet or experienced much of the Navy yet, but I have already began seeing what you mean about how no one else understands the military and when you're home you dont have many people to relate to, and if you're like me and from a small town, the biggest highlight of someones day here may be going to the local Walmart. It's just stressful when you know that no matter how long you've been gone and how much you've grew, its like back at home time stands still and nothing has changed when you come back.
I have a friend who is currently in the Navy as well, although he just finished A school & got his first orders recently so he hasn't had a big taste of it yet. Thought you might have some answers to some of my questions that he can't yet. Thanks =]
-Kimberly.
btw. my blogger id is Boots.by.day.Heels.by.night
No, it will only feel like this for the next three months or so. Then it will get back to normal.
It's hard, but try to remember you are not alone; there are plenty of vets walking right alongside of you - you simply can't see them (as everyone else there can't see YOU).
I'm a USAF vet, I thought what I had done was dangerous work then I went to work for this old guy. Months later he and I were talking at a holiday party, turned out he flew B26's on night Intruder missions in Korea - that was the real shit, what I did paled in comparison.
He was just this nice old man who ran this company I worked for, these guys (and gals) are all around you all the time.
We are with you.
Now let me get that sweater for my wife or I'll knock you over!
I'm not in the military, so I don't understand, but I walked through this with my best friend. He is a Marine. He is about to go on his second tour. He had a hard time adjusting to being home. I didn't tell him I understood, but rather I was just there if he needed to talk. I know it was hard. Like a lot of people have said here, over time, things got better for him. He still longs to be over there with his men, but He is happy for the moments he has with us.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm truely thankful for all you have done for our country!
Don't let it get to bad and don't hesitate to ask for help.
Post a Comment